Friday, January 28, 2011

Hoping for a brighter future

Well nothing new has gone on at J and B Learning. We are striving to do our best. Unfortunately having a child that has mental issues then on top of that being a teenager is very trying. Specially when he takes off from house for no apparent reason. I am having lots of issues with my son. It is having a negative impact on my other children. At this point I am trying to focus on my daughters for there schooling. Because the teenager doesn't want to learn anything new. When he is home he seeking negative attention which in turn takes up all our time and day. It is very hard to ignore a child like this. 

I mean really we have tried everything. Unfortunately with other teenagers there is remorse with ours there is when it benefits him. I know I sound like a mother her doesn't care at this moment. but I do so care. That's why I home school him because I didn't want to send him to last chance school. See regular schools put up with stuff until they get tired and don't want to mess with it. See when my son was in school I was getting a call everyday for things he was doing and I needed to pick him up because he was being suspended. I never had a dull moment. As well as now there is never a dull moment in our home now. Well he also had been arrested a couple of times because they couldn't deal with his ADHD/Bi-Polar/ODD possible PDD behaviors. He would run or throw things as well as provoke children and staff. 

Well now I face the dilemma of him just walking out the door when ever he wants to and coming home when he does acting like he has done nothing wrong. Then not understanding why I am mad or why he is not getting rewards. Well unfortunately for him I am not a light bulb switch that turns off very easily. I love my children for they are all gifts from God. I am finding it very hard to understand my son. He feels at the ripe old age of 15 he is grown and doesn't have to listen or obey, but he feels I should not say anything or worry about it.  Here are things we have tried.
  • We have taken things away
  • positive reinforcement
  • chore charts
  • request,warn and consequence 
  • spanking
  • lectures
  • writing sentences
  • groundings
  • bribes
  • major chores
  • ignoring
  • etc.
Guess what nothing has worked. I feel like I failed but then I remember I have a 20 year old who is doing well in Florida. He has never been arrested, or fights,he listened sometimes with resentment but he did what he was told. When he did pull thing he was almost 18 so it is kinda expected.  I am proud I have done something right.

I have begged and pleaded for help and no one seems to be able to help. It is emotionally killing my other children and our family. Thank goodness he isn't committing crimes out side of our home. But he is being an incorrigible child at home. At this point his Counselor is looking into trying to help me out by getting him into a program that will help him. Keeping fingers crossed I want my son to succeed. The program is called AMI Kids they are supposed to help kids get back on track before they end up in prison. They help them get GED as well as character build and more.

"AMI Kids is a national non-profit organization, AMIkids is dedicated to providing our communities’ troubled youth a promising future. Since 1969, AMIkids has partnered with local communities to help our 100,000 misguided kids who have been adjudicated or have failed in conventional school settings develop into responsible and productive citizens. Upon graduation from AMIkids, our goal is to have every student either re-enroll in school, gain employment, or begin higher education course-work.

AMIkids programs are community-based with a governing board of local community leaders ensuring that the program is meeting the needs of the community as well as engaging the community in redirecting their troubled youth.

AMIkids builds safer, more productive communities through restorative justice, economic development, community service and positively impacting public safety. Students in our AMIkids programs learn accountability, consequences and how to redirect their lives in order to give back to the surrounding community through service projects. AMIkids hires locally, which positively impacts the local economy and puts tax dollars back into the state. Each program’s local board members raise funds to supplement the public dollars received."

Ami Kids has 8 states that is in. One thing good for this state it is here. Keeping fingers and toes crossed that he can get in. He needs this! I want him to be able to function in everyday life when he is of age and succeed in everything he does that is law a bidding.  I can say in all honesty I have never given up on him. That's why I am trying to seek further help. Yes this is very small part of whats going on in my life as a educator and mother with a child who has a mental illness.  But as a mother I have small children I have to protect them as well from there brother. I pray everyday and I hope this is the answer!

My daughters are strong and very sad to see their brother do the things he keeps doing. They don't want Jon-Jon to leave they love him even though he can be very mean. But we pray all through the day for all the Jon-Jon's in this small world we live in as well as their families. No one should have to deal with this. I just wish I could get our government to understand there has to be more we can do for our troubled youth with mental illness.

Through his name we will survive and Jon will be someone who wont be in a bad place. I truly believe this with all my heart.

                                           Thank you for pondering,

12 Now brother will betray brother to death, and a father his child; and children will rise up against parents and cause them to be put to death. 13 And you will be hated by all for My name’s sake. But he who endures to the end shall be saved.
 Mark 13:12-13 (New King James Version)

" It takes one moment to prove stupidity and one lifetime to prove wisdom."
Written in 2007 by Molly P., Age 15 --- Colorado 

1 comment:

  1. HI April,
    so sorry to hear of your struggles with your son. My sister is going thru something with her daughter right now and it is so hard to watch it from a distance. I am adding your son and your family to my prayers and hope you are able to get him into a program that will benefit him. Hang in there!


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